Who said relationships are easy if you love each other??? I'd really like to know that person's definition of the word "easy"! My husband & I have had a very stressful few years as you may have guessed if you read the older blog posts or you know us personally. It's funny how stress works, though, it seems to affect people differently & at different times. A week or so ago, it was my husband's turn to lose it. He was feeling beaten down, unappreciated, & under-valued; mostly by me. YIKES! That's a tough pill to swallow. I've been working so hard to figure life out but here he was feeling left out & left in the dust. Ouch... hearing his anger & hurt was like a punch in the stomach - especially, when I honestly looked at myself and saw the truth in his words.
It hurts when someone calls us on our selfishness - however unintentional it may have been. The past week has been filled with many heart-to-heart conversations, much seeking after God for wise counsel & comfort, and many tears. We may not have everything figured out yet, we may still have tenuous moments, and we may still be a work in progress... but, I'm proud to say, there has been progress. We have a deep & abiding love for & commitment to each other, to God & to our children that we will cling to when times are rough.
As we continue to work through the mounds of unspoken words from the past couple of years, keep us in your prayers.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
2nd Anniversary of my awakening...
Today marks the 2nd Anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. Truly, it is the 2nd anniversary of my awakening. Life was good before but life is so much better now. It's amazing how facing your mortality can really help you to gain perspective.
God has been so good to our family! We have learned to trust in Him more than ever (Prov. 3:5). We have learned that worrying does not help; we can not change the number of our days by worrying, God is in control & will care for all our needs (Matt. 6:25-34).
Our girls have grown so much in the past 2 years. They are amazing young women who've gone through too much for their young ages and shouldered too much responsibility yet they don't complain. Sherwin has been stoic through everything but every now & then I see a chink in his armour and know that the past couple of years have taken a toll on him. It saddens me greatly to see how he's tried to keep his concern from me but it pleases me that he truly believes God will take care of all of us.
My friends have been through so much with me; at times, I've felt like such a burden to those around me. Yet, through it all, they've loved me, comforted me, & supported me.
I am so blessed and pray that I never forget to honour this day... the anniversary of my awakening.
God has been so good to our family! We have learned to trust in Him more than ever (Prov. 3:5). We have learned that worrying does not help; we can not change the number of our days by worrying, God is in control & will care for all our needs (Matt. 6:25-34).
Our girls have grown so much in the past 2 years. They are amazing young women who've gone through too much for their young ages and shouldered too much responsibility yet they don't complain. Sherwin has been stoic through everything but every now & then I see a chink in his armour and know that the past couple of years have taken a toll on him. It saddens me greatly to see how he's tried to keep his concern from me but it pleases me that he truly believes God will take care of all of us.
My friends have been through so much with me; at times, I've felt like such a burden to those around me. Yet, through it all, they've loved me, comforted me, & supported me.
I am so blessed and pray that I never forget to honour this day... the anniversary of my awakening.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Rest, rest, rest...
Why is it so incredibly hard to just rest? I had my breast reconstruction surgery on 9 days ago and the surgery went well. For the most part, I felt great afterwards but had strict orders from my wonderful surgeon to REST! He told me: no sweeping, no vacuuming, no lifting over 10lbs, no stretching, basically... sit on your butt! Most of this applies for 6 weeks!!! How do you not sweep the floor when there's grass tracked in from the dogs & kids? How do you not vacuum when you were dumb enough to put in dark brown carpet that shows EVERYTHING? I'm trying, I really am.
The first really dumb thing I did was move a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer... seemed benign enough but boy oh boy did I pay for it that evening. I actually thought I'd popped some stitches. I've caught myself sweeping and heading for the vacuum. I really realized how serious this was when I did a team building session for the youth from our church going to the Ukraine on a missions trip; it hurt to erase the whiteboard. How lame is that?
Why is it so difficult to rest? God tells us that we need to rest; that our best work comes from a state of rest not a state of stress and "busy-ness". So, why is it so hard? I think our culture is one of "busy" - do you ever ask someone how they've been and they say "I'm incredibly well rested & balanced. I've had several free evenings this week."??? I can't remember the last time I heard a response like that. Most of the time it's "I've been sooooo busy". I hear myself say it all the time. You'd think over the last 2 years I would have learned the lesson of rest. I'm trying, I really am trying. All I can do is pray that God works on my heart & head so I know how to balance, how to work hard and rest well.
How about you? Do you really know how to rest?
Be Blessed.
The first really dumb thing I did was move a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer... seemed benign enough but boy oh boy did I pay for it that evening. I actually thought I'd popped some stitches. I've caught myself sweeping and heading for the vacuum. I really realized how serious this was when I did a team building session for the youth from our church going to the Ukraine on a missions trip; it hurt to erase the whiteboard. How lame is that?
Why is it so difficult to rest? God tells us that we need to rest; that our best work comes from a state of rest not a state of stress and "busy-ness". So, why is it so hard? I think our culture is one of "busy" - do you ever ask someone how they've been and they say "I'm incredibly well rested & balanced. I've had several free evenings this week."??? I can't remember the last time I heard a response like that. Most of the time it's "I've been sooooo busy". I hear myself say it all the time. You'd think over the last 2 years I would have learned the lesson of rest. I'm trying, I really am trying. All I can do is pray that God works on my heart & head so I know how to balance, how to work hard and rest well.
How about you? Do you really know how to rest?
Be Blessed.
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California trip
A group of my "rocks"